Derty South Day 1

leaving on a Jet Plane..

First things first. We wake up at the crack of dawn & head to the airport. Who do we see in line at security? The "other-woman-if there was another woman (that makes perfect sense to us and thats all that matters). Anyways...then we get in line at security and naturally we get searched for bombs. Honestly, what college girl is going to carry a bomb in her Betsey Johnson, c'mon now?

Once we make it to the plane we think we're home free and get to sit just the two of us. BUT NO! We have to sit next to woman who still has morning breathe and smells like gouda cheese. YUCK! You would think that would be the most interesting part of the flight BUT NO. Not when you have Valerie and Christine. 

Apparently, there is a peeping Tom behind us.. who likes to listen to our conversations and mix up the information. He thought we went to MCC so he through us a typed out description of a tragic accident he got into and the brain surgery he had to undergo as a result. It was really sad...but still kind of weird that he gave that to us?

Anyways. We didn't know exactly how to react so we just decided to keep our thoughts to ourselves and go on with the flight UNTIL he through another handwritten note as us asking our feelings on whether or not he should write a book about his tragic accident. So naturally, we encouraged him to do so..and the notes went on until Valerie confessed her love about black people & Chris brown. Then the notes stopped..

Hours later we landed in Charlotte, North Carolina.

We quickly got nasty Chinese food and ran to the gate. We thought we would be late.. but it was the most dysfunctional airport EVER. They tried to board 3843798473 different flights out of the same gate. ikgay?

So we sat on the ground and waited until our flight took off.

But, of course we couldn't just sit there alone..OH NO!

We had to get approached by some crazy drunk guy from Detroit who would not leave us alone. He said that he was going to sweet talk his way onto our flight. Not only did he want to come on our flight with us..but he wanted to spend the rest of his life with us after our 5 minute awkward conversation.

Christine decided to 86 that conversation..and go talk to the 6'6 black boy (but thats a whole different story)

Valerie quickly stood up to realize she (all 5 foot 5 of her) towered over the creepy 4'11 drunk man. hahahaha

To make along story short. Christine hit on the 6'6 black man. And when I say man. I mean sophomore..in highschool.

Wow.

Finally, it was time to peace out of North Carolina and finally head to Georgia.

The two pilots. Black men of course..approach us of all people and ask if we are ready to board?

BABY WE WERE BORN READY

We get on this plane that is about 3x5 feet and falling apart...and has less than 10 people, while the pilot says "Hello gorgeouses".

Maybe that would be flattering if you weren't 65 and look like Bill Cosby. 

We said our prayers and held on to our seats for dear life.

Somehow we made it through the hour long flight..and finally landed at the airport, which looked like someones backyard??

We were soon to find out that it had just snowed there for the first time since 1965...and we had no car. AND there were no cabs. FABULOUS.

We ended up talking to some creepy girl for like an hour and some comedian and his Venezualen wife. While we waited for DAWGS CAB SERVICE to come rescue us..

Finally..the cab shows up!

And who is our driver??

WHOOPI FREEAKIN GOLDBERG HERSELF!

Actually, no this was Rosie O'donell meets Whoopi meets Bob Marley.

We were stoked.

Valerie spent the whole 10 minutes chuckling in the backseat, while poor Christine was stuck on her lap making small talk and singing to Rihanna.

After Whoopi robbed us blind we finally ended up in Athens..

which is the CUTEST TOWN EVER!

We got to the hotel and for some reason they decided to upgrade us FO'FREE! It was amazing.

GEORGIA NO 'SPENSIVE!

By this point..we haungry so we decided to get ready and go hit the town!

We walked..and by walked I mean freeze our butts off downtown and went to this Bistro.

It was amazing and we instantly fell in love with the southern accents & delicious chicken:)

("SERIOUSLY, THE BEST CHICKEN EVER.")

-VAL GONZ.

But, sadly there's not that many black people here. 

Valerie's very disappointed.

We walked around for a little bit, but decided to be lame and come back and watch One Tree Hill..can ya blame us?

Well until next time..

It's been real and we will definitely update everyone ASAP.

<3

VALestine.